Violence amoung teens and my theory of a link to Parenting

I've been watching the news and there are many disturbing things going on in the world, and the most disturbing to me as a parent is that just this week there was a school shooting, and 2 people killed by teens because "they were bored".  America what's going on here??

Last week I was watching The movie Parenthood and found this quote and it really hit home with me not only because of my own past and experience with parents but even more so because of the news a couple weeks ago. 

How is it that everything requires a license but 2 people can make a baby?  I'm not saying that the government should step in and require license to pro-create because well then I wouldn't be here today and that would be way to intrusive into the lives of the people.  The quote does make you think about it though.  For me, I've always found it odd that the Judge/State or whoever made the ruling thought that the people who raised Rick should be given 2 more kids to raise.  I think it was only because Gen and Jim were well off.  I do have to say I learned how to work hard being there and sure enough I was raised with manners. 

It disturbs me to see in the news how teens are committing such violent crimes.  When two kids shot a man in the back simply because "they were bored" everyone was talking about how the problem was that the kids had a gun.  No, the problem isn't a gun problem...the gun was just the way in which the crime was carried out.  I do believe kids shouldn't have guns unless accompanied by an adult.  Why is it that:
 
But this isn't even about gun rights.  Because the same week there were two teens who beat a WW2 vet with a flash light who latter died at a hospital, those teens killed a man just the same as the others without a gun.  Actually I think the crime without the gun was more brutal. 

Then came the talk about race.  Really?  I thought that we had realized 50 years ago that people are the same, that race doesn't matter it's just different amounts of pigment in the skin.  Race doesn't make one person more apt to commit a crime than another. 

The problem isn't guns, or race; the problem is that young people are killing others.  That they are out getting into trouble.  This is a parenting problem...  Where were these kids parents?  Why did these kids have a gun?  Why were the kids out thinking about killing or hurting people? 

The school shooting that happened at in Georgia the bookkeeper who helped the troubled young adult to surrender said in one interview that I watched that the shooter told her that no one loved him and that's why he was doing this.


This is the problem.  We're not valuing our children enough.  They are only little for so long then they grow.  We are living in a nation and economy where both parents have to work in order to keep a roof over head and food on the table.  This needs to change.  Parents need to be with their kids, Children need to know they are loved. 

We are living in a world where we're raising our children in fear.  We crush their hopes and dreams.  Then they are also home alone.  Then there are the parents who are abusive, drunk, and into drugs.  As a parent it's our job to set a good example of life.  As a teacher we need to educate our children in what they need to have a bright future. 


The other day I was out hiking with my family and my oldest daughter stopped to look at moss and I was telling her that it's moss and she can study botany in school (the study of plants) or she can study zoology and become a vet.  My husband looked at me and said "stop planning her life she has a long way to go before she knows what she wants to be" to which my daughter replied "yeah, Mom, I'm only 4!"  Yes, but it's my strong belief that if we tell our children that they can be ANYTHING that they want to be and once they have a dream and passion in one direction to harness it and help them along that they will believe in themselves and go after their goals.  I think that if there was more of this then there wouldn't be so many teen pregnancies, bored and lost teens out getting in trouble. 

I say this from my own experience...
My grandparents told me when I was in high school and had a dream of becoming a teacher that I was too stupid to be a teacher and should take nursing classes (even though I disliked hospitals) and then when I wanted to study horses and go to Cornell University and figure out what with horses I wanted to do they crushed that dream telling me that I didn't know enough and that there's no money in horses.  Gen and Jim really crushed all my dreams and I had very little self-esteem all through school.  I'm lucky that I had teachers and other supporters who told me that they believed in me and thought I'd go far in life.  I do feel like I've let them down that I haven't gone that far or accomplished much at all.  But I haven't stopped trying.  I keep making new goals and one day I'll succeed at something.  


Since my thoughts were a bit all over the place...let me conclude by summing up my thoughts for you.  The world today seems a sad and hostile place and with all the violence our children are facing at such young ages and then growing to commit murders we need to change this for the future generations.  We need to change this world that we're living in and make it a brighter place for all.  In order to make this change we need to offer classes about parenting and give parents more options to learn how to deal with problems that arise (trust me I'm far from perfect and can use some too), we need to raise the minimum wage so that parents aren't spending all their time working and have more quality time with their children, we need to make sure that kids know that they are loved and to support their dreams.  And for the people that have guns in their home they need their children to know that guns are dangerous and not to be touched without an adult and parents for crying out loud lock your guns up so that they aren't easy access to children!!  I think if we do this and teach and show children how to love and to have a respect for one another that the world as a whole will be a more peaceful and happy place.


I'll leave you with some more great photo/quotes relating to children, parenting and a brighter future:

Last week in my blog I told you the names of my abusers and that they were bus drivers.  I was surprised to find that Rick was listed as the co-owner and manager of a school bus company.  As a parent it's very scary to think about how little you know the people around you and how abusers and how sex offenders can be anywhere. 

With technology growing it's no wonder parents need to be even more cautious and worried.  I saw this video going around on facebook and was so happy to have had family and friends share it.  I am a photographer and love taking photos of everything so I was sure to have shut off my location but it still makes me very nervous.  I hope that parents will watch the video on how easy it is to find your location.  Please make sure all setting on your children's and your social media pages are set to PRIVATE.  My cousin found that Rick was on facebook.  This worries me I think that there should be laws out to make it so sex offenders couldn't be but then it's the internet and people can always lie.



Sport fans please don't be offended, but why are people this passionate and proud to be standing for something but not for many other things?  I think every parent and survivor and teacher and person should be yelling and demanding for more awareness to sexual violence and the people who have been convicted of it.

I loved this post I saw on facebook:


I wish every state would do this!  I think it's a great idea!  I hate that sex predators can be anyone and blend into the crowd of people. 

Names

Thanks to some survivors at Take Back The Night this year who got up and introduced themselves by name I've realized that I shouldn't hide names. Like I said you never know how your speaking helps others.

I realized that I shouldn't hide who I am, I've done nothing wrong, although I'm still embarrassed and ashamed of what happened to me I know I shouldn't be but you can't help it, abuse leaves marks that can't be seen and shame is one of those marks. You want to hide and remain annomys. For me it's that and the reason I haven't shared names is out of fear even still, years after the abuse has stopped, I'm still afraid of what might happen by putting their names out there, but I'm going to do it anyway...why? Because people should know who they are, because I know my "father" who molested his own daughter, and if he did it to his own daughter then no child is safe around him, isn't on Megan's List...because he was convicted of his crime before Megan's Law.

So names....I will now use names for the two who abused me....while one has died before being convicted the other still lives.

Richard "Rick" Davis was, or well biologically is my father. He is a convicted child molester, he went to jail for 5 or 7 years. When he started touching me, I don't know, I don't have a lot of early childhood memories, but there are a lot of clips that I wish I didn't have. By the time I entered 1st grade he was in jail. The last I heard he was living in Shohola, PA.

James "Jim" Davis was while not biologically, but adoptivally, Rick's father, and my grandfather. He was very well respected in the community, and had many political friends. I didn't tell anyone of what he did to me until I was out of his house and 17years old. He died before any trial or conviction.

Gennive "Jen" Davis was the wife of Jim and mother of Rick. She still is a respected member of the community, and drives and owns school buses. She blamed me and my mother for her son Rick going to jail.

Wow, even though I'm 25 and have been out of the house and away from the 3 of them I'm still fearful of telling their names...but as I said before, I'm gonna suck it up and tell you all because you have a right to know who commits such crimes and that they are from all backgrounds.

From now on in my blog I will use their names, I no longer have to refer to Rick as my father since I've never liked doing so.

It is important to know that Rick was a school bus driver! A person that was always around children! He even owned buses. He is not allowed to own or drive school buses now but I know for a fact that he is still around them. How? Well before I moved out of Jen and Jim's I was told that he was around by his brother, and then I saw him. He never came near me. Jen and Jim didn't know that I knew. He was caught driving bus for a summer camp I had worked at, and the owner who knew Rick wasn't allowed to be around kids told him to get off the property and not to come back on. Other family friends who know of what happened have told us that they have seen him driving an empty bus to get work done on it (we've learned that if the "school bus" signs aren't showing it's not against the law) and on a couple ocassions has gone out to buses that have broken down to fix them.

Jen and Jim owned a large number of school buses and both drove school bus. While Jim died 6 or 7 years ago Jen still owns the buses and drives. She never touched me, she only put me down, called me names and made me feel like shit.

Sex offenders can be anyone! The Davis name while it's a common name, was highly respected in our community. I think it still is, because they kept all their dirty secrets hidden from everyone. I was always told growing up to never tell anyone what happened to me because if I did people would think poorly of me, make fun of me, and I'd just be hurting myself. I've realized that it was their name and reputation that they didn't want ruined.

To you seeing them, you'd never think or know what they truely were/are, what they did. To me, I knew the truth, after all I was the one going through the abuse. I often wondered why other people didn't see it...couldn't they see their thoughts? I know people can't, but as someone going through the abuse, you really wish people could!

They had money! They had a lot of money and were well off. Abuse doesn't know any boundries, age, race, money, job, religion, there are no defining charatistics of who will be abuse, or of those who abuse others. I hated money, and power. Why? Because Jen and Jim had both! And Jim always held that over me. He told me I couldn't tell anyone because no one would believe me and that he was too old to go to jail. No one would believe me because he was powerful. I was terrified when I finally told. Who would believe me? And as far as I know I was the only person he ever did that to. Oh but he told me how he loved to look at girls getting on the school bus in short skirts. But what does that matter? I doubt he told anyone else that.

So to everyone who lives where there's a Davis school bus (G Davis Inc), you now know of the people who are around the busses. I will not allow my children on one. Once they start riding a bus I'm gonna make sure I know who the driver is and make sure that they know to tell me the moment they don't feel safe.

I want to end this entry with a link to a letter from a child molester written to Ann Landers:

Get back up again...

 

Life can be hard sometimes, as many of you who read this know...

 

I've been hurt by the people closest to me,

the ones who should be there protecting me,

yet after all that

I picked myself up,

dusted off,

and day by day started holding my head a little higher,

as I started to make a better life.

 

I've seen people I care about pass,

seen them drink away their memories,

seen some turn to drugs and lose everything,

I've seen people get beat up by life.

It's sad.

I've seen beautiful souls taken from this life too soon.

Sometimes life is really unfair.

But the world keeps turning and life keeps going.

There's only one thing to do,

Get back up

Dust off

Hold your head high

and keep going strong believing that tomorrow will be better

 

Because even as I've seen all the pain and somber things above what keeps me going...

 

The sunrise in the morning

The promise of a new day

The smell of fresh cut grass

The feel of a horse under me flying down the trail

The soothing calm of sitting by a river

The colorful sky when the sun sets

 

No matter my failures I keep going

for the one day when I succed

for the day that I can have all my dreams

for the look on everyone's faces when I do finally meet all my goals and I can say "Told you so"

 

I keep going dispite the hard times

because of all the laughs and smiles durning the good times

 

I try to make the most out of life for those who were taken too soon

for those who don't make the most and just watch the days pass by

 

I keep going and I hope you do too.

 

Let your life be a message to someone else

Be an inspiration

Be an example

Be a survivor

and show those who are in the lows of life right now that if they keep getting up each day that it gets better.

 

 

Never would have known...

"I would have never known that you went through that"

"You couldn't tell that you went through that"

"I would have never guessed..."

"You turned out so well..."

"I'm surprised at how you handle yourself...."

 

 

These are all things I've heard over the years and I don't know why but it

 

surprises me that people say some of them. You can't tell what a person has

 

gone through just by looking at them. Only physical abuse leaves marks. In

 

talking to someone, unless they tell you, you don't know what they've gone

 

through and keep secrete. Even people who you've known for years could harbor

 

dark details that you wouldn't have known about until they open up and tell you.

 

I know my family didn't know about what my grandfather was doing to me until I

 

told first my boyfriend at the time, then my counselor, then had to tell my

 

family about it...I was 17 at that point...and was already out of that house and

 

abuse. People wouldn't have known if I didn't say anything....so you can't tell

 

just by looking, knowing, or even talking to a person what they've gone

 

through.

 

Sexual, mental, and emotional abuse don't leave marks for people to see.

 

They leave permant lasting marks on the victims' memories, mind, and self image

 

most of the time. And these marks will never fully heal. Physical abuse does

 

the same thing to a person, only the physical marks will heal. Now I did say

 

that one will never fully heal from abuse, and it's true, but there's a lot of

 

healing that will happen in time, and with help and support.

 

Everyone copes with their abuse in different ways, and to stereotype that

 

everyone who has been abuse will have problems with drugs, drinking, or violence

 

is wrong. I'm very lucky in that I don't battle any of these problems. I

 

remember being told by my uncle who was raised by the same abusive grandparents

 

that once I was out of that house I would go off to college and party like crazy

 

and do all the drugs out there. That's what he did. I don't know what he went

 

through at all, he never told me much more than that my grandparents had gotten

 

soft, they were much harder on him. I think it also didn't help him when he

 

learned what his brother had done to me when I was so young. I loved my uncle

 

dearly. I was really caught off guard when I found out that he had committed

 

suicide.

 

I don't know for sure but since his father and brother both molested me maybe he had gone through something in that house at a young age as well. I don't know. Statistically speaking it's a good chance he was abused as well. I always thought and really believe that I was the only one hurt by my grandfather.

 

People are good at hiding things when they really don't want others to know something. Abuse isn't only for the people who are poor or doing drugs or it can happen to anyone no matter what their lifestyle could have been abused, or could be being abused. It doesn't matter how they look, or act. You just don't know.

 

So if someone tells you that they've been abused don't say "I would have never known" but try I'm sorry to hear, or if you can relate tell them that you know what it's like and share your story and be a friend who they can talk to.

 

Now when I was going through the abuse and my life was crazy and I was still in school and getting help I was told by my counselor how well I was handling everything and that helped. It helped to hear that I was doing good and she told me how strong I was. To say those things to someone who is being abused or just got out of an abusive home that will help, just let them know they are strong, doing good, and even when they feel like they are falling apart by telling them they are handling everything well will make them feel better. At least it did me.

 

Maybe that's why I didn't get into drugs bad or try to drink away my problems...just to know that someone cares and loves you can make all the difference. I was lucky to have had that in my teachers, counselors, and my family who was there for me and took me in.

The Perks Of Being a Wallflower (the movie)

A note before I start. I don't want to ruin or spoil the movie for anyone. It is a great movie so please if you haven't seen it yet then stop reading NOW and go watch it, then come back and read if you wish as I'm sure this entry will make more sense after watching the movie.

　

***Read on only if you've seen the movie***

 

I am so happy I was able to rent The Perks of Being a Wallflower from my local library and got to watch it.

I always find it hard to watch a movie or show that brings up childhood abuse or rape. I wasn't raped but the feeling that come with watching that are really hard to deal with. Everytime my chest gets tight, I often feel like hiding somewhere, I remember how I felt, and I always feel ashamed and like everyone around me can tell that I was that kid in the movie. I don't know if everyone feels that way...I never ask, I've never told how thoses scenes make me feel. I'd describe it a panic or anziity attack. And it always makes me uncomfortable to watch when there's a lot of people in the room, espically if I do cry or really freak out over my flood of feelings from the past. It does usually help to have my husband near to comfort me. Even though this is how I feel I still think it's important to have movies, and TV shows, and books that adress childhood abuse. It's important to make other uncomfortable, and to show them that this really does happen.

For me writing helps me sort out my feeling or to overcome emotions. It helps me to let it all out...and I can't let it out by talking. Talking about the way I feel has always been very hard for me even in coucling so I've always written...it is 12:15 in the morning and after watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower I had so much on my mind that I had to get it out. I hope to write and be done so that I can get some sleep tonight. Just a little side note for other survivors or victems, do whatever it takes for your feeling to be out there. Now back to relating to the movie...

I guesse now it a good time to relate to the main charater, Charlie. I could relate to him right off the bat. He kept a type of diary, writing letters to a Dear Friend, talking about what was comming up and how he was feeling just then, but never once did he mention abuse in the letters. He was a wallflower, a loner, and he was scared and nervous. He got close to a teacher, who probably didn't know it but helped him out, and encouraged his writing and education. He said in the begining of the movie how he went all summer without talking to anyone outside of his family. I knew just how he was feeling for that was me, all throughout school. I didn't make friends easily, but was really close to teachers. There were a few who were really helped me. I had friends in school but none that I was really really close to, and not one that I talked to over breaks. Jen and Jim kept me very issolated from everyone. Every year at the begining of the school year I'd wonder who would want to talk to me. It didn't bother me, I didn't mind sitting back and listening. I loved school it was my safe-haven from my home life where I could never do anything right and had to wonder if Jim was going to try to see me naked or touch me. I always kept a diary, although I never mentioned any abuse I was going through. I didn't start writing about my abuse or feelings over it until I was getting counceling from VIP.

By the end of the movie you learn about the molestation he had gone through, although you would have never known. Since I had watched this movie after reading "Inoculating Your Children Against Sexual Abuse!" I picked up on the big sign of the aunt telling him "our little secret" about getting him a gift. Other than that you wouldn't have known about what was going on, until they show you. I will encourage all parents now to get the book "Inoculating Your Children Against Sexual Abuse!" as it goes through steps in teaching your children to protect themselves one of which is your family has no secrets, and it also has a checklist for you to ask yourself about anyone that's around your kids.

He says that one of the hardest days is when he was getting help the doctor had to tell his parents what had happened to him, and how hard it was on everyone. Having gone through that not only once but twice, I can tell you it's extremely hard! Childhood sexual abuse doesn't only effect the child, but once everyone around, just in a different way. My family told me that they feel like they should have known, and sometimes blame themselves for what happened to me. It's hard to come to terms with that someone you know, someone that is part of your family would do such a thing to a child, to your child, one who you thought was safe. Parents wouldn't leave their kids alone with someone who they didn't think the kids wouldn't be safe with, so the abuse always comes as a big surprise. It was hard for me at a young age of 5 or so to tell my family the first time, espically since I didn't understand why they were making a big deal out of it or what was happening. The second time I had to tell people I was a grown teen of 17...and that was hard. I had to tell everyone that I had this big secret that I had kept and hidden for years. I think the movie did a great job at showing how hard it was on everyone to learn of what had happened, and to show how ackward it is after, how everyone feels uneasy. It's hard to get that emotion in a movie, but I think they did it well. I think it's easier for me to understand since I had gone through it.

The great thing for Charlie is that he made really great close friends who were there for him. And he had a very supporting family.

Just like in reality Charlie wasn't the only one to have suffered abuse, and I love how the writers go on to show that your friends don't turn their backs on you when they learn of your past.

Charlie's sister dates a guy through the movie and in one scene, and only one scene they show a fight between the two of them and he hits her. I've never been in a relationship like that but have had friends who have. I always said, and told my husband, if I was ever hit that would be the end of the relationship no matter what. I had my share of abuse growing up and I wouldn't and won't put up with it. I honestly don't understand why anyone would stay with someone who hits them or makes them feel bad. My one friend who I had learned that her boyfriend had hit her, when I told her to leave him and that she could do better, she made the excuse for him that she egged him on, it was only that one time, that she wouldn't stay if he hit her again, and that she had already invested too many years with him that she couldn't find anyone else and that she loved him. This same friend when set up with a great guy a few years before and went out on a date, told me that she couldn't date him because he was too nice for her and she didn't deserve that. It's really sad, and they say it in the movie, people go for and stay with what they feel they deserve. It's true, you do. I dated a lot of jerks and guys below me but there were 2 who really were good and showed me that I could date above the level I thought. One was my high school sweetheart who I dated for just under a year. He was supportive and the first one I told about what Jim had done to me. While we didn't stay together, him and I still remained close friend, and still are to this day. I'm very thankful to him for all the support he gave me. After we broke up, I went back to a low self estem and not dating anyone good. Finally my best friend at the time set me up on a blind date with the man who is now my husband. I really didn't think he'd want to stay with me, but he did, and he's turned my life around! So, if you're someone who is with someone who treats you poorly, just know that you deserve better, even if you don't think so, you do, you're worth more than you think!! I love how they show at the end of the movie the sister does leave her boyfriend and they show her happier without him.

Charlie's first relationship is with a girl he didn't really want to be with. I've been there too! He stayed with her because he felt bad for breaking up with her. There is no abuse in this relationship. He finally ends the relationship in an awful way. I really felt bad for the girl. It is never a good idea to stay in a relationship that you don't love the person your with. As a person who always wants people to be happy that's really hard to do. I know I dated a guy once who was sucidal. I didn't want to be with him, and had no feeling for him. I only said yes to going out with him because he got up the nerve to ask me out and I felt like I'd really hurt his feeling if I said no. Then once I learned about how he'd inflict self pain, I didn't want to break up with him for fear of him really hurting himself. It was a very awkward, and intense relationship. After dating only a week he told me that he loved me, and then at 2 weeks he told me that if I ever left him he'd kill himself. Wow. that makes it hard. I broke up with him finally after he had hurt himself and ended up in a mental hospital where he had called me. I figured at least there he was safe. I'm happy to say that the relationship in the movie wasn't like that, but it did remind me of that relationship I had. Relationships are hard and tricky, but you have to do what's best for you.

Charlie makes a great friend in Patrick, who is outwardly gay, but in a closed closet relationship. Patrick's boyfriend will not come out of the closet because he says his father will beat him, and when his father catches the two of them together he does. It comes out that the father started beating his son in front of Patrick. He didn't do anything to stop it and left. I feel really bad for both boys. I can't relate to them for lack of expierence here. I was only beat a few times, never in front of non family and never had to cover bruises. I feel for those who are gay and afraid of coming out. I wish people would stop judging and putting religion into it, they can believe whatever they want but 2 people who are of the same sex and want to be together aren't hurting anyone so why make them feel bad? I know as a mother, I would not turn my back on either of my girls if they told me they had a girlfriend. I think as a parent it's your job to be supportive. The sad thing about this abuse is that neither boy told anyone else, and neither of them got help. I don't care if their reason was that it only happened once, there is NO reason to beat a child, teen, person, like that. The dad should have gone to jail.

Through Patrick, Charlie meets Sam. He falls for her right away. One night she opens up about her first kiss being with her father's boss, when she was 11. She talks about how she was, we'll use the term lose, her freshman year. This too I can sadly relate to. While my family doesn't know, or well, didn't, if they read this they will and hope they don't think poorly of me. After finally getting out of Jen and Jim's house and given freedom, I had my first love, I mentioned him before. He was great to me, but when we broke up I felt like nothing. I was living with great family, but I lost all self respect. I slept around a bit until I met the man who is my husband. When you've been put down for so long, forced to undress, and be touched, it takes away your self esteem.

All of this makes the movie so powerful, heavy, and intense. I'm so happy that this movie brings up so many issues that I've had, and brings to light the topics of different kinds of abuse and how it effects people. I wasn't expecting any of that from the previews. The writers did a great job in while bringing to light such painful realities, really telling a full story, and kept you watching. They didn't go into full, hard to watch scenes of abuse, which makes it a lot easier to watch, when they did show any it was in a very short clip. Mostly the abuse it talked about, just like in reality, when friends finally open up and share with each other.

Thank you again to the writers, producers, and cast in this movie for doing such a wonderful job, and for bringing to light some many important matters!

Your story could Help

I posted my speech this year for Take Back The Night in which I spoke about why I speak and share my story. By sharing our stories as survivors we not only support each other but inspire each other to open up, get help, and in turn heal. I use to want to write a book or make a movie to bring about awareness but really never could write my story out word for word the way it happened, to tell it from start to end in detail. I could picture much of it although a lot of my childhood is cut in and out, I only have pieces of the memories, and many of which I wish I didn't have. My thought for sharing my story like that is to make childhood sexual abuse very public and to show that it happens and how often. I want to bring this issue that everyone hides and tries to cover up or say didn't happen to attention. I don't see me accomplishing this, but it is a good thought and maybe someone will do it with their own story one day. The book "A Child Called It" did that with childhood abuse and neglect. I have read that, and my heart went out to the child, it sickened me that someone could treat any person that way.

I always hope that by speaking each year at Take Back The Night that I'll help at least one person get the help that they need or to share their story and help another person. With this blog I hope that it's a safe way to do the same, and to let other survivors or victims know that they aren't alone.

I was really happy to see a large jump in the number of page views after speaking. I hope that it helps.

  I received these emails from my counselor which really made me feel good that I've helped others speak:
"Thank you so much !  I will share the information from your blog.  It was such an empowering night and I greatly appreciate your involvement through the years, as well as the information you now share on your blog.  I often use you as an example, without names of course, to help encourage others to speak.  I tell them that we have someone who  started speaking while still in high school and that they have continued either in person or by sending us something to read through the years.  You just never know the effect that your sharing may have.  "
" I have never had anyone regret speaking at Take Back the Night so I’m going to share that.  Then I also share that in actuality not only do they not regret it, they look forward to speaking again.  I love how positive your blog is and I’m glad you have been able to use your writing not only to help you, but now to help others.  Keep passing it on!"


It really means a lot to me that I help others speak out because I know how much it helped me the first time I went to Take Back The Night and heard other survivors speak. I finally realized that the way I felt and what I had gone through, someone else had felt and gone through as well.

I really hope that other's will share their stories because you never realize how much your sharing can help someone else. It might help them admit to you or someone about the abuse they are going through, or to help them get help with something they've gone through. Your story just lets other's know that they aren't alone.

It took me a long long time to be able to share my story. And I know how hard it is to tell the first few times, but it get easier every time. Now at times it's hard but after having opened up to others and having them open up to me about things they've gone through and helping each other it makes it easier. After having opened up to a few people and found that they've gone through something similar and never really talked about it and how they felt, made me want to share more to raise more awareness.

When you're ready to share, know that you don't have to let people know who you are, you can share your story at Take Back The Night without telling anyone there your name, you could write a blog, a letter, a book, and not have your name mentioned, do it under a fake name.



Your story really will help someone, so please open up in someway and share. Let your story be known and raise awareness, help victims know that they aren't alone, and give other survivors support and courage to share as well!  Weather you know of the abuse or not you more than likely know someone who has been abused....

Everyone knows someone who has been a victim weather they are aware of it or not, tell the story and help someone else.