Words of Support...

Last week a post I had written in August was shared on Facebook by someone to a group about one of the schools that has Davis Buses.  The post was shared a bunch and all the comments I saw were so full of reassurance that I had done the right thing and full of praise that I was close to tears reading what everyone had said.

I wish I had had all those comments and known that so many people would have stood behind me back when I was in school going through everything.  Back then I was living with a dark secrete that I was told to never talk about because according to Gen and Jim "People would think poorly of me.  Kids in shool would pick on me.  And, why would I want to tell anyone what happened, it's in the past!"

In the past it might be but I haven't forgotten...in some ways I wish I could...but it will always be with me.  And when the abuser is still alive and not just them but you know the ugly truth that not everyone can be trusted so once you have kids you'll do anything to look out for them and protect them.

When I was younger I felt like Gen and Jim ruled the world and that I was small and insingifanct.  I didn't want to get picked on, or yelled at for telling anyone - so it was years that I kept the secrete.  Finally talking about it was really hard for me - but it's gotten easier over the years, and now that I've opened up I realized it wasn't me they were worried for but themselves.
Maybe that's why speaking out about what happened to me and sharing the comments of support from others below is so important to me.  I hated the way I felt growing up and I don't think anyone should have to feel that way.  I also want to bring hope to those who have gone through abuse and to those who are being abused.  The victims currently being suppressed are the ones who need the words of encouragement the most - they need to know that they have support to come forward and to get help - and that they won't be picked on -it takes a lot of strength to get help - to stand up against those who have done such harm to you.

So now I'll share all the comments I saw with you in hopes that others who need the support and a reminder that stepping forward to get help, and shareing their story with others is a good thing.  **Note: if you're a male survivor or victim reading this please just adjust the words so that they fit you**

"I truly admire your bravery.  I wish more parents would see it."

"Keep your head up, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by the amount of support you get/have."

"I am so proud of what a strong and brave young lady you have grown into."

"Giving those names means they have no hold on you anymore.. Letting the public know who did this is a protection for the public.. Those awful people do not deserve to remain anonymous.. You owe them no loyalty, they owe you everything.Personally I think you should sue them all for what they did to you..." 

 "I'm very proud of you!! You just made such a difference to so many, survivors, victims and future victims of abuse...it takes a strong person to STAND UP!! Hold your head high!! Not many can do what you did, what NEEDS to be done...If this helped only 1 person (I'm sure it has helped more just in knowing they are not alone in whatever abuse they have been through or are going through...and may give them the same Courage you have shown...)  May the Rest of your Life be filled with Peace and Happiness"

"Takes a lot of balls to face your past and share it with the public.  You are a strong girl!!"

"What happened is disgusting.  I am so happy to see that those horrible people did not prevent you from growing into a beautiful strong and courageous woman and loving mother.  Thank you for sharing your story and giving hope and encouragement to other victims of abuse."

"I am happy you feel strong enough to now tell your story.  Your past has not prevented you from becoming a strong woman.  I remember some of the abuse by your grandfather and even when I had to call him to stand up for you I remember how intimated he made me feel.  So happy to see your strength!"

"There is freedom in the truth. If your story helps just one other person then truth has won once again.  Hold that in your heart and know that God understands and surly has a place for you."

"Wow, very courageous of this girl to share the name of her childhood molester...hope she inspires others.

"Thank you for sharing your story.  You are an inspiration!!"

"You are a very brave person.  Best of luck to you."

"Very brave person, indeed.  You should never feel ashamed - Thank you for sharing your story and being a strong person."

"Thank you for your contribution to bring awareness!"

"I think it is a wonderful thing that you are doing by speaking out about what has been done to you and I feel it is a very good thing that you are not hiding the facts about who did it.  It is time that the abuser stop being protected.  It is time that people know what they are really like."  

"I'm so happy for you, not happy that you went through that, but you are a blessing to all that know you.  You are one strong woman.  Keep telling your story we all need it, more for the ones going through it. God Bless You.  You might not think you are, you sure area hero to us.  Also you teaching us all what ever bad things that happened to any of us if we want a better life you got to work at it.  We don't have to be victim or a pawn of hurt and scared for life.  Thank you for who you became.  You could have had closed the doors and hid and not walked in love, after all you faced you still found love." 

" I read her story and was very impressed with her strength and courage to not let that those horrible people control her life. As far as her telling their names, too bad for them! They did something horrible to an innocent child, they deserved to be shamed in public." 

"That's great that you're taking this and turning it into something positive. I had heard rumors of this but had NO idea who the family was and the post was brought to my attention."

Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving!  Every year I like to count my blessings and make a list of all the things I have to be thankful for in my life.  I did share a lot off my list on my photography blog.  I wanted to write more about the things I'm thankful for here.

I remember as a child having to write a few things we were thankful for in school and how hard holidays can be when you've gone though something traumatic but counting all the good things in life helps realize that not all hope is gone; not all is bad.

So now what am I thankful for?

I'm so thankful for...

• My husband, who has always stood by my side.  He's been very supportive of all I've wanted to do.  He listened to me when I needed someone to talk to, he's been my shoulder when I needed one to cry on, and he's always been by my side whenever I needed to do anything like speaking at Take Back The Night.  He's shown me that there are men that I can trust, and that there are good guys out there, that they aren't all bad like some who have hurt me in my past.
• My daughter.  She's one of my biggest  blessings.  I never thought I'd have kids because I didn't want to bring a child into such a cruel world and chance them going through the abuse I did.  Thanks to my husband I changed my mind-and I couldn't be happier that I did!  She is sweet, innocent, full of evergy and she's my way to have the childhood I wish I had.
• My family and friends.  I am very lucky to have such a large support system.  While yes I've been hurt by some family and others turned their back on me when I came out about the abuse I had gone through, a large majority of my family believed me and helped me.  I'm so thankful for my friends and family who have helped me and always been there for me.  While it is hard to talk about the abuse to people, my friends have never looked at me differently like I use to get told they would.  Thanks to my friends and family they have showed me how to live life and have fun, I have many great memories to look back on now.
• V.I.P. and school counselors. Once I came forward about my abuse I had a lot of help from both my school counselors and V.I.P.  Even before I admitted that my "grandfather" was abusing me, my counselor got me help from VIP to deal with my abuse from my "father".  I'm also thankful that there are programs such as these (and more) to help other victims get the help they need.
• Horses.  While I have talked to counselors and they have helped there's nothing like the calming effect of being around horses.  I'm so thankful I've had horses in my life-when thing are feeling overwhelming I know I can always brush, ride or just be around the horses at the barn and get my calm back. 
•  
• A roof over my head, power, and having food to eat each day.  I know there are many people in the world that don't have those simple things in life.
•  Getting over my fears.  This year with help of my daughter and friends I got over my fear of snakes.  I never thought that would happen.  I also never thought I'd find myself married and with children, but thanks to my husband I let go of the fears that were holding me back there.  
• And this year we got a nice surprise that we're expecting a second baby! I loved being pregnant with my daughter and am very excited and thankful that I'm going to experience pregnancy again :)

Well I hope that you all find that you have many things to be thankful for this year as well, and that you all have a very happy Thanksgiving.