Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Speaking tomorrow at Take Back The Night

Tomorrow night is Take Back The Night by me; TBTN is a rally against sexual violence, and it happens all over the country through out the month of April.  I've gone to 2 others before and they are powerful gatherings and very heavy and emotional.  Sexual assault and abuse is something very hard to go through and it hurts, you can fell the pain in the atmosphere at these rallies.  It's also a time to bring about awareness and give hope and share personal stories.  
I was asked to speak at our TBTN rally tomorrow by my counselor who helped me through high school with what I went through.  Of course I didn't really have to think about it, I think raising awareness is important and sharing my story is part of that.  


I want to share my speech for tomorrow on here with everyone so that all of you can be apart of tomorrow as well even if you're not there.  I've revised some of it for the web instead of speaking to a crowd.



Hey everyone, thanks for coming out and showing your support for victims and rallying together to raise awareness and help end sexual assault and abuse.

I was introduced to Victims Intervention Program about 8 years ago and they’ve really help me start to face my past and even what I was still going through when I started talking to them.  I’ve stayed in touch with the people who helped me and were by my side for 3 years, they’re great friends to have and wonderful people.  They made a big difference in my life and I know I’m just one of many.  Let’s give them a big hand to say Thank You for all they’ve done and all they do.  (Please if you know of a VIP near you or see that they are doing a fundraiser please help them out, it's a good cause.  Also if you are a victim then think about volunteering and helping others who are going through similar situations)

I was molested by my biological father at a young age, when it started I don’t know, it stopped when I told my family at the age of 4 or 5.  Then his parents took me in and the abuse started again, my grandmother blamed me for her son going to jail and I was the one who caused everything, then her husband who taught me how to shave and talked to me and stood up for me turned into the one who started to touch me inapropratly, then had me show him my chest so he could measure the growth of my boobs, that excelled into having to ride in the car without pants or showing him my boobs, and if I said no it was a big deal and no wasn’t something you told him ever.  Finally with the help of VIP and others I moved out and pressed charges.

I carried a lot of what I was told and what happened to me around for those 17 years and it wasn’t until after that I realized a lot of what I was told wasn’t true, and that I could change who I was into who ever I wanted to be.  A couple weeks ago I went to see, former rocket scientist and now great motivational speak, Rick Seymour speak.  He talked about self image, how our brains work and how to get the things you want in life.  A lot of what he said hit home to me.  He talked about how we get our self image from emotional and repitious events, and then he told us to dream and those dreams will make a difference in our lives and that we can make dreams a reality.

I had a very low self image.  I was always treated like Cinderella, I wasn’t allowed to talk unless spoken to, had to do all the farm chores while my brother watched, and I couldn’t ever do anything right.  I was told I was fat and stupid and that I’d never amount to anything.  I believed them.  I found it hard to make friends, and I always wanted to lose weight, but I also wanted to prove them wrong, but there was a voice in my head that kept arguing how I couldn’t do things I wanted.  I met my husband and through his upliving words my self image started to change.  Then a I started my own photography business and really felt like I was proving them wrong, but after a 2 years of it not taking off like I thought it would I once again heard the voice saying “failure” then I was introduced to Shaklee, and really started to feel empowered.  After hearing Rick Seymour speak I know know with out a doubt that what I was told for years wasn’t true, and that I am a successful business owner, I’m a surviver, I’m smart, pretty, and I can do all the things in life I want to.  I tell myself that every day because we need to reinforce the positives in our life.  

Then we were asked to dream.  I had my dreams stolen from me at a very young age.  I never dreamed of what my future would look like, I just let things happen and hoped for the best.  Who was I to dream of cars, money, vacations??  I should be happy with what I have.  That’s what I was taught and what I was told.  No one ever told me to dream, no one said you can do anything you want, it will take work but you can do it.  I learned how to dream that day.  I learned a lot that day.

I use to spend a lot of time looking back at the past and trying to figure out how my life would be different had I gotten help sooner, or what I could have done differently.  I found that that made me depressed and didn’t help me move forward in life.  I want everyone here to know that you are wonderful, beautiful, strong, and you should dream, and use those dreams to move you forward.  I think that because of the abuse and hardships we’ve had it takes a toll on us to the point that we don’t know about the good things in us.  I know that was true for me.  Shame on your friends and family if they don’t tell you everyday that you should do what makes you happy because you deserve to be happy.  After what we’ve gone through we should be able to live the life we want, and you can.  If any of you need someone to help you find your dreams or you need someone there to show you how great and strong you are come over to me and I’ll be happy to talk to you one on one and so will VIP.
I found a quote that I loved and I think it’s very fitting for tonight

I love that quote so much it’s the background on my computer and it drives me.  I struggled with why did this happen to me and I use to dwell on my past, the hurt and worry will always be there but the more you can forget about those people who didn’t treat you right and focus on the ones that do, the happier you’ll be.  Don’t ever forget what happened to you, don’t try to, use that and share it with everyone so that they know this is real and a problem.  And I couldn’t figure out why me, why did it happen, why is there abuse of all kinds in this world.  I don’t have an answer.  All I know is my past hurt me but because I worked through it I’m stronger and now know that I went through all that so I could tell my story, raise awareness and help other women with their past and help them find their inner strength to do the same.  I want to inspire everyone to dream, to stand up against their past, to stand up and make sure everyone knows that NO MEANS NO.

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