Be a Voice

I was asked if I could come up with a flyer asking people to speak at Take Back The Night, I was honored to be asked to do this, and at the same time wondering How am I to fit everything I want to say onto one flyer??  I like to try to explain everything.  So I figured why not write out my reasons and ways that you can Speak/Share/Be a voice at Take Back The Night on here?

Here is a rough draft of a flyer I made and I'll go into detail after it (remember I did say ROUGH draft, there are spelling errors and it's not clean and neat)

*  A safe environment:  That's an understatement!  Take Back The Night isn't only safe but also supportive.  Everyone there is either a survivor, or someone supporting survivors.  You won't ever get a better group of people to stand in front of and express yourself.

*  Hope, Inspire, Encourage, Lift, these are all things that you will be giving other people in the crowd.  Hope that life will get better, that there is help out there, and hope for a brighter future.  You're going to Inspire others to share, and to get help.  Encourage....it's the same thing as inspire, but more than that you're going to have a sense of encouragement after speaking out and sharing.  And Lift...You will lift people up.  Yes, your story could be dark and hard, but seeing that you survived and are taking a stand you will lift everyone up that there is hope.

*  Heal and Share  That's what the night is about, healing through sharing.   It's a very healing night.

*  #SurvivorCommunity  this is a night when survivors, victims, and those who support us get together.

*  Yell. Cry. Whisper. Cheer. Talk.  It doesn't matter how it comes out, let it out. Yell if you're mad, let the people at the end of town hear your strong voice taking a stand.  Cry, let the tears roll, sob, because we know that it hurts, that the abuse you faced is painful and scary and how could that happen? Cry, you won't be the only one to do so! Cry and there will be other tears falling.  Whisper, mumble, stutter... public speaking is a fear of many, you don't have to be perfect here, once you get started letting it out it comes easier.  Cheer, you survived and fought to be the strong person you are today after being torn down, Cheer and let the world know that you are brave and strong after facing such darkness.  Just talk, everyone there is listening to what you have to say.

*  Sing. Poems. Art. Stories. Dance.  I've seen people get up and tell their story and let their voice be heard in all these ways (except dance...I haven't seen that but dance is a form of expression and would be awesome!)  You don't have to write something long like I do, I've seen people sing a song of healing, rap about their pain and anger and how they got out, read a poem they wrote about hurting themselves and getting help.  There's not wrong way to share.

*  Strength.  This word has a double meaning.  You are already Strong! You've gone through hell, and here you are, sharing, and you have great strength to go through it all and to open up about it.  Also you are giving others Strength. This ties right back into the hope, life, inspire part, you telling your story is giving a victim strength to get help, it's giving a person in the crowd strength to get up after you and tell their story, and it's giving someone the strength to talk next year.

*  #youarenotalone You are telling your story so that others know that they are not alone.  It's the worst thought and feeling to think that you are the only one who has been hurt in this way.  We need to share our story so that more people share and no victim of abuse will feel like they are alone, we need to share so that they get our strength to seek help and pass on the word to others that we know how they feel.

*  Let it out.  Let emotion take over, and let it out.

*  #TellMyStoryMyWay  as I said above there is no wrong way of telling your story, do whatever you feel, and how you feel comfortable sharing.

*  Unique.  Each and every one of us is unique.  We all have our own story to tell, some might be similar, like I'm not the only girl to be molested by her grandfather (I'm sure I'm not the only one who's biological father molested her either)  but we are each unique.  The process that we have healed, the way we have overcome the abuse, and the people we are, all of that is unique to us.  The way we chose to express ourselves is unique.  Don't feel that you have to fit into any mold, express your story your way!!

*  Silent NO Longer  and  I will Not be quiet both of these have the same message, I don't think I need to explain how I was told (and most victims) to not tell anyone what was happening, and that I wouldn't be socially accepted if I did tell.  I'm here to say, that my voice will be heard! I was silent long enough, kept my secrets, and we shouldn't have to!

*  I am Not ashamed, my abuser should be shamed.   Victims often feel shamed of the abuse they went through (I know I did) but that's not right!  We should not feel shame for what happened to us!  Our abusers, they should be publicly shamed, and everyone should know who hurt them!

*  #EndAbuse  and #RaiseAwareness this is our goal each year, we want to End abuse by raising awareness.  You can help us do that!


BE A VOICE!!  Take Back The Night happens nation wide, usually in April, find your local TBTN and find out how you can Be a Voice and share!  Please join us and let's accomplish our goal #EndAbuse

I should also note that it's not just for survivors, but those who love(d) a victim.  There are sadly those who have died. and if you want to share their story and your pain, I've seen people do that.  Talk to someone about sharing.



***Update***
Final flyer made thought I'd share it:

Others who are speaking out

As I hope you know by now, my blog here is to help other victims, and survivors of abuse.  I want to raise awareness and help others.  This blog is my own way of healing, it's therapy for me, but I've been finding more inspiration, hope, encouraging words and seeing other people's stories now and I'm so happy that other's are sharing, that they are always out to help support survivors and encourage victims to get help and that there is a brighter future.  I want to share with you links to these pages and I hope that they all help you!

A wonderful person to follow on Instagram, she's such an inspiring and intelligent young woman and is always posting something about awareness, something to inspire and lift, and shares her story.  I love following her and seeing the great work she does.  Check out her Instagram and follow her here: http://instagram.com/nomoresexualassault/

***Note to @nomoresexualassault Thank you so much for all you've been doing <3 Keep up the great work!!

There are many others on Instagram also working to raise awareness here are a couple more that I follow and think are so great (I'm sure there are many more that I don't know about yet...please comment them below so that I can follow them)

http://instagram.com/themotivatedmother  Thank you for your wonderful post, they are so powerful!  

http://instagram.com/mettlechild   There's only 6 post on this page, but I'm hoping for more and I think they will do great things!

http://instagram.com/ladyvivienrose  Thank you.  There's some strong images and quotes on LadyVivenRose's instagram, wonderful job!!

This next website had an ad in this year's Superbowl! I thought it was great! I just found their page thanks to the instagram and they have a great message about speaking out and ending abuse http://nomore.org/

Here is a website and blog where this woman shares how she Overcame Sexual Abuse, very inspiring and powerful, if you need more reason to check out this site she has a badge on there of being one of the 2013 Top Ten Abuse Survivor Sites by GoodThreapy.Org  http://overcomingsexualabuse.com/

http://survivorstothrivers.com/  This is such a wonderful site!  It has something for everyone who needs support, encouragement, inspiration, facts.  This is one you will want to bookmark!

As always I find a lot of positive messages, quotes, images, and inspiration from Pinterest

I hope this helps and that you all check out the links I gave you.  Feel free to comment more or send me a private email with the link  mystory2share2@gmail.com


More to Follow on Instagram:
ambertheactivist
andthenshespokeup
casacgs
poeticchurch
WC_Respect
projectemancipation

(sorry I didn't put links to them in but they should come up in "search"

Happy Valentines Day *Love yourself * Love others *Love Life

Happy Valentine's Day,
I hope everyone is having a wonderful day and either getting spoiled by someone, or spoiling yourself!  Love should be in the air everyday...and it starts with yourself.  We have today to celebrate love, and according to ads and TV, and cards and all that crap you have to be with someone and celebrate your relationship....that's not what it's all about,,,,it's about celebrating love.

Self Love

Family Love

Love of Friends

Love of Life

We have a day that celebrates Mothers, and Fathers, and giving Thanks, and for our freedom...today let's remember what love means.  And not just in a relationship but in our everyday lives.

If you've lost sight of this or are alone and sad today here are some images I found on Google that I hope help.

For your bad days

Everyone has bad days...those days when you're mind is in a dark place, when you can't push the thoughts away, when you feel like you're falling apart and the pieces will leave scares for all to notice.
I can't fix this, no one can take the memories away, but I saw this on nomoresexualassault Instagram and I hope that it helps.

On those bad days, when you feel lost and alone, pull this up and know that you are not alone.  There are so many others out there that know how you feel that have been in your shoes, and there are a lot out there suffering in silence.
Let's break that silence.  Share this image with everyone so that they know that they are not alone.

Things will get better.  Life does get better.  There is GOOD in this world.

Please seek help if you need it!!

And if you're sharing your story, and posting quotes and images like this one...THANK YOU!  Thank you so much for all that you're doing to help victims and survivors and raising awareness.  You are truly a ray of sunlight with the word hope in it, you brighten the dark places, ease some of the pain.  You are inspiring, and strong, and helping more than we could tell you.

Sex Trafficking...

On January 23 I wrote asking you if you could to tune it to watch Nightline.  Sadly I'm far from perfect and fell asleep by 10:30 and never caught the show but I've finally gotten to watch the full episode online and have done some research....

It's really sad the ugly scene that was shown that is happening all over America (and not just here but world wide) that young girls who feel so alone or just want to feel special fall victim to sex trafficking.

I've always stood against prostitution....I'm a germ-a-phobe I couldn't and can't understand how someone would pay money to have sex with someone who just had sex with who knows how many guys before you?  It's a quick way to catch an STD if you ask me.

After watching the Nightline special and looking at some other stats and pages I really feel bad for these girls.  They are picked up young at a vulnerable age when they are trying to escape their abuse, foster care, are homeless, or just looking for attention.  They are promised things that they want.  Last year at TBTN they talked about girls getting picked up because the "pimps" would pose as a boyfriend buying the girl pretty things and then slowly after having the girl feel like they were in love then they would turn the tables and the relationship would change to one of abuse, and how the guy needed money so the he'd find ways for the girl to earn money for him.

You can find a lot of info in the links below but I'd like to highlight a few facts for you.

The average age girls are corrupted into sex trafficking is between 12-14

Women are forced to sleep with anywhere between 20-40 different people per day

Victims of sex trafficking are the same as victims of sexual abuse (most have a history of abuse in some form) and don't think of themselves as victims, lack trust and don't seek help.  (For more about this check Myths & Misconceptions)

The pimps picking up these girls are smooth talkers who know what to say and promise the girls to make them go with them.

Young girls and women are NOT the only ones who are picked up and used, young boys can be as well.  Let us not forget this.

As a mother myself I'm terrified of losing my girls, I'm very protective of them.  I don't want them to go through what I did and I don't want them to run away and fall victim to this ugly scene of sex trafficking.

Here are some links for you to watch, read, and learn more info about sex trafficking.
(again) the episode of Nightline with Diane Swayer
A Path Appears
Enslaved in America: Sex Trafficking in the United States  An Essay By Tina Frundt
What Modern Day Slavery Looks like in America by Business Insider
Sex Trafficking Statistics from the Covering House
The FBI website about Human Trafficking
National Human Trafficking Resource Center


Now with all those scary stats and stories and info in our face...I first want to thank everyone who shared their story and took a stand, and to everyone who is working to bring light to this and shove it in the public's faces.  It takes a lot of courage to share your story and start life over again, and it takes a lot of people knowing about something to put an end to it.

With that it then brings up the question of how to end this?  I think the documentary A Path Appears is on the right path, that there is a solution to all these huge problems that they discuss we as the public as a nation just have to care enough to stand up and figure it out.

Personally (again I'm no expert) but what I think....we have to prevent these girls from falling victim.  They said most come from broken homes or foster care....I don't know how to end that....but we somehow have to make sure young women know that they can become anything that they are loved, to love themselves first, and that there is a good future ahead if you work hard towards it.
Love is a powerful tool.  The promise of love can make someone do crazy things....what if they already know love before they feel the need to go out and find it?  I Love You.  Three simple words, every parent should tell their kids, let them know that no matter what they do you will always love them.
I think this is a good start.
I also think that men should wake up and stop buying sex. Really guys do you not worry about STDs? Are you not grossed out by the thought of how many other guys have been there before?  Are you not disgusted with yourself for paying for sex?
Just like in every other aspect of sales it's supply and demand....the demand is what drives everything.  If there is no demand then there is no sale....what if men stop the demand?  Then there will be no need for prostitution.
What if there was an ad on a billboard or TV that showed a picture of a girl at age 5, then again at 13 then again at 25 and the caption read, "she's your little girl how would you feel if she was taken and sold for sex?" would guys be so quick to buy it then?


I really don't like that I sound like a man hater here...I am not.  I love my husband and I know that not all men are like this...but there is enough men buying sex that prostitution is still going on today.  I also know that men can be victims of abuse as well...I'm not here to attack anyone I just want to raise awareness and end all forms of abuse....and sex trafficking is abuse.