In the News TONIGHT!!

I never did get the chance to post a blog about sex trafficking like I had said I would last year.  I am sorry (I was without internet or a computer) but now that I'm back I want to share what I saw an ad for this morning on Good Morning America...

Diane Sawyer is doing a special about exposing how sex trafficking is happening here in America, young girls are being picked up and sold and used, here in our country.  Last year I learned that it's happening in small towns too not just big cities.

Image taken from Google Images.  Image credit will go to this site that it was credited on on Google

Tune in tonight to watch the specials 

First up World News Tonight will air a clip

Then watch the full report with Diane Sawyer on Nightline tonight at 12:35 AM ET (that would be 9:30 PM PT)

And they said they will be airing a clip on Good Morning America Monday morning.

Links:
What is Sex Trafficking?
About the Special report with Diane Sawyer on Sex Trafficking
Facts and Questions on Sex Trafficking
National Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention Month 2015

Support the victims and survivors (views on how society reacts)

I watch The View often and they've been talk a lot about "the Bill Cosby allegations" and how terrible it is for him to be accused of rape and how what if it's true and what if it's not.  I have to do a shout out to Rosie O - She's doing a great job talking and advocating for victims of sexual abuse - THANK YOU!!  She's handing out facts and I really want to applaud her for that.

I am really upset with the whole "I don't think he really did it," "The women are lieing," "I need proof,: and all that crap!  All those quotes and debate are hurtful, for me personally having been told (by Jim) that if I ever told anyone what he was doing that I wouldn't be believed
"who would believe a child with a past already over a respected community member with a good lawyer?" he would say.

I've had a few thoughts going on since they started talking about the "allegations" on TheView and now I'd like to share them with you...

1.) There is NOT always proof.  I wasn't raped - I was molested, touched, made to strip and sit naked for his view.  Yes, rape you can prove with a rape kit, but understand that not always do rape victims run right to get help - why? Because there's shame and guilt that society puts on them - fear and a multitude of other reasons.

2.) "Crying Wolf" - I don't see how any woman could lie about going through any sexual violence.  I know some have - I've heard of women lieing in custody battles and read Gone Girl where the female character framed an innocent man for rape (and more) but she was physco.  That all makes me so angry.  Every time someone cries wolf on something like that it hurts us all.  It sets what we are trying to do back so much because now that's what's in peoples minds how do we know she's telling the truth, there was that one woman who lied and they ruined an innocent man.  Don't LIE!  It really just end up hurting everyone else, we as women need to protect one another and crying wolf just places doubt in people's mind because with every time a woman lies about sexual violence towards her it makes them want more proof and as I just said, there is not always proof.

3.) Why is it that people assume that by telling your story that you are after your 15minutes of fame?? Really? Fame from rape (or whatever other abuse they've gone through)? No!  I believe the women telling their story about Bill Cosby are women just like me and they just want truth and they carried this around with them in shame and fear for years.
When I came out about Jim's abuse to me they asked if I wanted to sue or anything - No I didn't want his money nor do I want Rick's.  I knew when I moved out and spoke out about my abuse I'd lose my inheritance.  I gave up everything money wise to live a happy life where I wasn't the victim anymore.  Do you want to know what I "lost"? 1/4 million dollars inheritance, (Jim died about 2years after I moved out of the house), my own piece of land and house I was always told I'd inherit, a walk-in closet and my own bathroom in the house we were living in, college tuition (or so they always said they would pay at least)
Yeah I didn't get any of that - but I didn't (nor do I) want it! It was all tainted with dirty strings attached.  I gained so much more by moving out and even more with sharing my story.
Moving out I escaped the fear and dark depression I had.  I gained freedom and privacy.  I no longer had to worry about what I was going to deal with at home.  I gained safety, and LOVE.  Yeah I had to share a bedroom, no longer had a closet and had to share one bathroom with 5 other people, but I got the chance to be a kid (well teenager), have friends, sleepovers, and be happy.  and I stopped hurting.  I no longer wanted to cut or burn myself.
By sharing my story- it's a big release.  I had this ball of secretes, shame, fear of what people would think, all inside me and it tugged unknowingly at every part of me.  When I shared my story publicly it was like that ball loosened a bit and once I began to admit what I went through and talk more that ball kept unraveling and I gained confidence, I gained hope and strength and a dream or 2.  Enough about me....back to my thought about sexual abuse in the headlines....

4.) Why are the victims accused of being in the wrong here??  This one makes me mad.  I already wrote one blog about no matter what a person is wearing NO MEANS NO, so you know I'm not wasting my "breath" on repeating myself there answering the "well what was she wearing?" questions.  But it seems that there are so many other accusing questions and comments that come up
How'd you get yourself in this situation?
 She shouldn't have drunk so much! 
Were you leading him on?
Someone on the View on January 8th said something that struck out so good to me so I'm going to share...
If 26 people said they were mugged we wouldn't be asking if they were telling the truth or what they were wearing or how they let that happen to themselves, so why is it that that's what society does to sexual assault victims?
It's not right and this needs to change!
Before I move on to the next thing that has struck a cord I want to touch on the drinking and drugged part....
We can't shame women by blaming rape on them since they drank too much that night.  No.  Men and Women both drink to the point of black outs in movies, books, TV shows, and in real life.  I think it happens to everyone at least once.  I am NOT condoning excessive drinking - I'm just being honest.  I, personally, have been drunk, to the point of throwing up more times than I'd like to admit.  It took me a long time to learn my limit - and even after that there was a least one time that my drinks hit me harder than normal.
Just because a woman is under the influence of drugs or Alcohol  does not mean it's OK to take advantage of her - and she did not bring rape on herself by drinking.  Men need to be gentlemen and get her help.
If you have a drug or Alcohol  problem please seek help.

5.) "I can't believe he did it." Denial.
Just because someone is a son/husband/father/teacher/famous/wealthy or whatever word you want to insert here.  No matter what "he" is - does not mean that he didn't commit the crime he's accuse of.
Rick and Jim were both: fathers, sons, husbands, brothers, bus drivers, company owners, and well off.  Jim was also respected in the community and had political friends.  They both molested me.  5years of age or younger daughter to Rick, that didn't matter.  And Jim waited until I was older but I was his granddaughter.
I might have been their only victim....I don't know....but they still did it, it happened.

I did not watch the full interview with Katie Couric and Stephen Collins to hear all the details about what he did to young girls.  I liked watching 7th Heaven growing up - but just because he played a good father figure doesn't mean I don't believe what he said is true.Child molesters, rapest and those who fall anywhere in between are good actors - They know how to act "normal," they will fool everyone around them.  I know - I lived through it.  I've seen it! 
Bill Cosby was the "American Dad" - SO What?!?  That doesn't mean he didn't commit the crimes he's accused of.  not only that but that was a role he played.
I'm sorry to scare you - but the truth is, sadly, there are real monsters who live among us and you can't pick them out from the crowd unless you've been a victim at their hand.  You might think you know your boss, co-worker, neighbor, favorite actor, best friend, and even spouse - but do you really?  They can keep their secrets and fool everyone.

I hope that justice in some for comes about, I know there's statues of limitations but people have power and with the truth out there we can stand behind the victims and survivors and make a change!!

Links used in this blog for quick access:
The View
Rosie O against her Co Host on The View (advocating for and defending victims of abuse)
Gillian Flynn's website (author of the book Gone Girl which I mentioned)
Link to The Huffington Post with videos sharing the Women's stories
The full Episode of The View on January 8th on YouTube from which I got a lot of my inspiration behind this post
Katie Couric and Stephen Collins on Yahoo
Stephen Collins 20/20
7th Heaven on TV guide
CDC website with facts on sexual violence 

Take Back The Night 2014

April 30th was our local Take Back The Night, and as always it was emotional, informative and empowering.  The theme was Keep Calm and Talk About It which as you know is very important to me - not only for self healing but also to raise awareness.

This past year alone in one county, in PA, VIP has helped 88adult and 34children in cases of sexual assault!  The numbers are alarming - that was just ONE county in ONE state.

This year a specialist came in to talk to us about sex trafficking.  The numbers there also alarming and watching and learning how it's happening all over the country and even in small towns was scary.  I will be gathering more info and will post a future blog about it.

If you haven't yet gone to a Take Back The Night, I encourage you to find one near you (your local college or VIP should be able to have the information for you).

The survivors who spoke last night did a fantastic job!!  It's really neat to see how everyone heals and expresses themselves in their own way.  So powerful and strong they were!!  One sung a song, one wrote her story in a poem that tore at your heart, and one even made a video where she did make up and told her whole story of how she was raped at such a young age and how she overcame that.  Such strong women!!

Their stories and the event itself really makes me want to open my blog up to others to share so it would be like last year long.  But I will have to figure out how to do that... For now I'll leave you with my speech from last night, and a few images....

My turn to share

We live in a world where we don't want people to know our failures, our imperfections, or our discolored past.  When we talk about ourselves to other people or share things on social media we often portray our lives in the best light as we can.  I am very guilty of this.  Every year I write up a Christmas newsletter and tell our family and friends all that has happened in the past year trying to make things appear like we're doing fantastic, no matter what problems we're facing.

I try each year to get up and give an inspiring speech and try also to have an uplifting and inspiring blog...

I don't believe that people would be so inspired to know all the truth...that we struggle each month to make our bills, have been homeless, and that I often feel like a failure.  Well tonight, as I still hope to inspire and uplift, I'm going to tell you about my discolored past, my failures, and how imperfect I am. 

By the age of 25 you're suppose to have life figured out, aren't you??  Know who you are, what you want to do, and to be on your way to accomplishing something. Well that's not me.  In December I had a very hard time with this and struggled to find meaning in my life.

Last Spring, my family moved south to start a new and better life, so I thought, but all our plans failed and the week before Christmas my husband was laid off; for the New Year we were looking at being homeless.  This is not the was it's suppose to be once you have children. By now I should have graduated college, and bee well on my way to a successful career. 

I was told by my grandmother how I would amount to nothing.  I wasn't smart, and how fat I was.  That I was a liar, and no good for anything.  Growing up hearing this has ill effects on your view of yourself as you can imagine.  Every time I fail, I think back to her harsh words -- and I've failed a LOT.

Family can be cruel.  This I know only too well.  Family can sometimes inflict the worst pain.  You trust them to protect you, to love you, and to support you.  If you're lucky you will have family that does just that.  For me I've had family on both sides.  On the one side of my family I learned how o never trust anyone, that your own flesh and blood can betray you.  How a father who should be the one to always protect his baby girl could be the one to tell her something was right although it was wrong.  I was taught how everything has a price.  There was no support for dreams, instead they were crushed and I was put down time and time again.  Lucky for me I also had another side to my family...the family that was my rock and support is here tonight for me, they've shown me what it means to be a part of a family - to love and always be there for one another especially in dark times.  They've never once turned their back on me or said any foul words.

I've learned over the years that while you don't get to choose the family that gives birth to you, but you can chose the family you belong to.  It took me a long time to move out of my abusive home - but once I did I cut all ties with the family members who cause me such pain.

Unfortunately while I've left the people who hurt me behind, the scars that were cause by my past will always be on me.  They follow me around and never fully heal.Time has healed my physical scars so you can hardly see where I use to heat tweezers and burn my legs, but time hasn't erased my memories.  They will always be with me... in fact the more time that goes by, the older I get the more I worry.  I worry about my girls having to face this cruel world.  I want to hide them away so they will never know any pain - as a parent that is probably our biggest wish.

For me, I almost didn't have children because if both my father and grandfather could molest me then how could I ever trust someone else enough to have children with them? How could I take that chance?  I'm thankful everyday that I changed my mind and for my girls - they bring meaning to my life - but everyday I worry about them growing up, and I have flash back and pray that they will never go through what I did.  My memories will be a constant reminder that my worry is justified, and that is why it's important to stay calm and talk about my story with others.

I thought that after all  that I'd gone through in my first 17 years that I deserved a break and I'd prove everyone wrong by becoming something great.  But here I was, 25 and a failure!  I dropped out of college, not just once but twice.  I tried to have my own business not once, but twice, both of which didn't go successfully.

As we were preparing our move back north I told my husband one evening how I was feeling about everything.  He looked at me and said, "Life might be hard right now, things aren't going the way we planned, but never think yourself a failure.  Your grandparents on that evil side of your family were sick people.  You are great. You are a good mother to our two girls, look at them and how well you're taking care of them, and all the love they know.  You might not have any glamours job but not everyone is meant to have a fancy job.  And don't forget how close to your heart Take Back The Night is, I think you're doing great and meaningful things trying to inspire other survivors."  That is one of the reasons he is my husband.  He's shown me that there is good in the world, that I can talk about my past and share my pain with him.  He encourages me in all that I want to do, and supports me in not only speaking here each year but also writing my blog about overcoming my past as often as I can.  He also knows how to show me how my view of myself (when negative) is wrong.  He knows how to lift me up when I'm down.

Each year brings us hardships and blessings. Every person, even if they seem perfect to you, has their hard times, failures, and skeletons.  Each of us has our own scars and pain, but we each also have something special to bring to the world, you might not see it yet but it's there.  And each of you who share your past, you bring about awareness and hope for others.  Everyone here, just by being here (supporting us at TBTN rallies) you help to bring light to the darkness and encouragement to us all to speak out against abuse.

One more thing I want to share with you..

I have a poster set up full of comments of support and encouragement I've received about my blog that I want to share with each of you - because they aren't just for me, but for everyone who shares.  There's an image below but for those reading this check out this blog entry that also has all the comments in full that you can read.

My display at TBTN

While I've been told that I'm strong for talking about it - the truth is...that while I hope that my blog and talking here helps someone - it really helps me a lot, it's my own therapy.  Keep Calm and Talk about it.  It's really hard standing up here in front of people and sharing, and I remember how scared I was the first time I ever went to get help and having to talk about it - but after - my gosh it feels so good to get it all out!

It gets easier the more you do it - Stay Calm and Talk about It.  I've been speaking at or at least writing something for tonight - gosh I think 8 or 9 years now, it does get easier to speak, and it feels so good to get my thoughts, feelings, and story off my chest.  Oh I still have my secretes, details of my past that I have not yet shared - they weigh down on me - but I'm not yet ready to tell them - and that's OK, I think, because telling what I do helps immensely. 

Keep Calm and Talk about it and I think you'll feel a sense of freedom from it, I know I do.

No Justice

I'm sorry in advance.  I normally try to be positive and up lifting - but I don't think this post is going that way, but this is my story, and my feelings and I want them out there.

After finishing my last post I was left with having just relived all the feeling I had gone through during those years.  I was so Angry that Rick was, not just one the same farm as me, or road, but even that he was in the same state - and loose!!  I hated that he was free to go do whatever he wanted, although on paper he was to stay so many feet away from kids.

I know he went to jail - for a couple years, then was on parole, and now free...

Why?

How?

I don't get it!!

Because I kept my mouth shut about what Jim did for so long he never went to jail or anything before he died.  He lived the life he wanted until he died - because I was afraid of admitting to what had been going on.

I feel like there is no justice for the victim.  We are the ones most hurt here,  We are the ones that have to deal with the memories of what was done to us, or what we had to do.  We are the ones knowing that there is a limited amount of jail time for our abuser - and then they are out!  We are the one who have a hard time trusting anyone - for we know that people are capable of unspeakable things!  We are the ones who lost the wonder of childhood!!  Who learned about sex way before we should have.  We are the ones who have to deal with what we went through for the rest of our lives.  We are the ones who have to pay for therapy (if we can afford to do so...if not we're left to try to find comfort some other way).

So why is it that the abuser gets to go back to his/her life?!

I will never get my childhood back, yet Rick is back to working around school buses and doing whatever he wishes.  Jim never felt the weight of being convicted guilty over what he had done to me.  All I can hope for there is that there is some sort of God that will rule the ultimate Judgement for him (but then I'm not even sure that I believe in God...Heaven, Hell....a lot of teachings I just can't follow or believe in....but believing that there is some sort of ultimate Judgement is all that we have left)

Here's one more thing that just makes me so mad:

Why is it that the news covered that they were looking for Rick (image right) of a suspected rape of a 6 year old girl (I was only 6 - I didn't know the difference.  I said he put his "thing" into my "thing" when I finally told someone what was happening....I didn't realize the difference) But there was no follow up article telling how he had run to Canada, then came back and confessed to molesting me and had a jail sentence?  Why would you not follow up a wanted/looking for article with a Found/Convicted article??



One last bitter thought... Justice is something hard to bring to any victim.  But I think if we can't quarantine all sex offenders and murders in some Godforsaken part of the world to rot, then why can't we at least mark each one who has been convicted?  A big black forehead tattoo saying S.O.B. (Sex Offending Bastard) would do well.  Then at least everyone who has been convicted will have no way to hide it!!  Parents will be able to easily spot them and keep their kids away and other people can view them for the low lives they are!  Then there's no way for them to hurt anyone else again.
Sadly there will still be people out there because not everyone is convicted because sexually based crimes are very under reported.
But the marking would help!!

Why is it that if they were convicted before Megan's law they they don't go on Megan's List??
I don't care that Rick hasn't been charged since.  I don't think people change - not abusers.  I was his daughter - the one person in the world he should have never had any sexual thoughts about - a child non the less!
He took away my childhood innocence - his own daughter - what makes anyone think he wouldn't do it again to another??

I was a victim.  I am now a survivor - my past has not held me down - but I will always have my invisible scars that will haunt me.

Take the Step

I found this on Pinterest and fell in love with it because it's so true and inspiring.  The quote can be applied to any area of your life.
I think everyone should print the image or write out the quote and hang it in their office, on the fridge, or tape it to a diary.  Put it somewhere where you can see it everyday to remind you that it only takes one small step to make a change - move in the right direction - and you can change everything.

Change rarely happens overnight, it takes time, courage, strength, and a series of steps.
Some people make change by jumping steps with both feet, while others tentatively take small steps to get there - both will get there; both will do great because they each make the step in the right direction.
Le me use weight loss for an example...A person doesn't just wake up one morning being 50 pounds lighter, they have to take the first step towards weight loss to see a difference.
Person A might hire a personal trainer, and dramatically change their diet all in that first step, and keep going until they meet their goal.
Person B might have a harder time making such big changes so instead one day they might cut down on the amount of soda they drink, then they might trade a Big Mac for a burger they make at home and load with veggies, then they start going for a walk each day after work, and so on, and so on, making small changes until they realize they've done it.

Every step you take has an impact on your life.  In order to make it better, that step has to have meaning and go in the right direction.

I'm a mix of Person A and B, depending on what the change is.

Changing my life from an abusive house hold I was living in to the loving one I came to know more was hard.  I can admit that.  It took small steps and time and I was scared the whole way.

Compared to that first change in my life all others I'd jump at and they were easy compared to leaving my abusive home at the age of 16.  I've quite smoking 3 times, this last time did it and I haven't craved a cigarette in 2 years!  I did that cold turkey; I woke up one morning not liking the way I felt or the smell of smoke and decided to stop.  My husband had a harder time quitting and had to wean himself off the cancer sticks slowly.

It doesn't matter how you have to go about making a better path for yourself - just take the step!  Apply this to whatever area of your life you have/want to.

For those going through abuse - there is no better time than now to seek help and get out!!  For those who are working on overcoming your past - there is help.  Just keep placing one foot in front of the other.

I can still remember the steps I took to get out of my abusive home...

I believe I was in 10th grade when I learned that Rick was around our 15acer home - working with the buses, and helping build the new log home Jen and Jim were building.  My Uncle to whom I was close to, Slade, told me about Rick being around - only he wasn't suppose to, but he thought I had a right to know.  Slade asked me to promise to not tell anyone that he told me or even that I knew.  From then on I couldn't sleep well, and I really didn't feel safe.  I went to school one day and told my guidance counselor that Rick was around.  I don't remember the whole conversation but I was set up then with a counselor from.V.I.P. to deal with my emotional issues from Rick molesting me when I was a child.  At first I thought, "Ha! I don't have any emotional issues - that happened years ago! I'm fine! I just want this asshole to stay far, far away!!!"  Latter that week I met the lady from V.I.P and we met once a week until I graduated high school.
When I entered 11th grade we moved into the finished log home.  That's when I saw Rick out starting buses and once heard him in the house - Jen told me to stay in my room and not come out.  I was 16, I knew he was in the house talking to her, that she didn't want me to see him, and that she thought I was clueless.... At this time I started to get more help from VIP and my school counselors.  Children and Youth came to my school and told me they'd have to come to my home and interview me.  I'd have to tell them what was going on, only thing was that they asked me these questions including if I felt safe with Jen and Jim sitting at the table with me.  I was a coward and said that I was happy and safe there - not just once but twice!!
The kicker is that all this time Jim was abusing me as well - but I didn't tell anyone that until after I was out of the house.

The last time Children and Youth came out, Jen made me write a letter saying how I forgave Rick and felt safe.  I have the letter still and maybe another day I'll share it all on here.  I was smart and copied it word for word onto another piece of paper and took it to school with me.  I went straight to my counselor's office and gave it to her.  That is the point at which my life changed.  I spent the whole day with her.  We called lawyers, my mom, and other services, that night I didn't do the same as I had done so many times before but rather my mom picked me up and I went home with her - and started my life all over again.

All the steps I took were hard in their own way.  The first step, talking to the counsler, was the biggest because it helped me know that there was help and that I wasn't alone or totally damaged.  That step made such a difference in my life.  I learned to deal with everything and to seek help and it's the step that set in motion all the changes and that allowed me to get out of the abuse.

Whatever you're facing or wanting to accomplish, take the step forward.  It may be scary but it's worth it and you'll thank yourself in the end.  Best of wishes :)

Words of Support...

Last week a post I had written in August was shared on Facebook by someone to a group about one of the schools that has Davis Buses.  The post was shared a bunch and all the comments I saw were so full of reassurance that I had done the right thing and full of praise that I was close to tears reading what everyone had said.

I wish I had had all those comments and known that so many people would have stood behind me back when I was in school going through everything.  Back then I was living with a dark secrete that I was told to never talk about because according to Gen and Jim "People would think poorly of me.  Kids in shool would pick on me.  And, why would I want to tell anyone what happened, it's in the past!"

In the past it might be but I haven't forgotten...in some ways I wish I could...but it will always be with me.  And when the abuser is still alive and not just them but you know the ugly truth that not everyone can be trusted so once you have kids you'll do anything to look out for them and protect them.

When I was younger I felt like Gen and Jim ruled the world and that I was small and insingifanct.  I didn't want to get picked on, or yelled at for telling anyone - so it was years that I kept the secrete.  Finally talking about it was really hard for me - but it's gotten easier over the years, and now that I've opened up I realized it wasn't me they were worried for but themselves.
Maybe that's why speaking out about what happened to me and sharing the comments of support from others below is so important to me.  I hated the way I felt growing up and I don't think anyone should have to feel that way.  I also want to bring hope to those who have gone through abuse and to those who are being abused.  The victims currently being suppressed are the ones who need the words of encouragement the most - they need to know that they have support to come forward and to get help - and that they won't be picked on -it takes a lot of strength to get help - to stand up against those who have done such harm to you.

So now I'll share all the comments I saw with you in hopes that others who need the support and a reminder that stepping forward to get help, and shareing their story with others is a good thing.  **Note: if you're a male survivor or victim reading this please just adjust the words so that they fit you**

"I truly admire your bravery.  I wish more parents would see it."

"Keep your head up, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by the amount of support you get/have."

"I am so proud of what a strong and brave young lady you have grown into."

"Giving those names means they have no hold on you anymore.. Letting the public know who did this is a protection for the public.. Those awful people do not deserve to remain anonymous.. You owe them no loyalty, they owe you everything.Personally I think you should sue them all for what they did to you..." 

 "I'm very proud of you!! You just made such a difference to so many, survivors, victims and future victims of abuse...it takes a strong person to STAND UP!! Hold your head high!! Not many can do what you did, what NEEDS to be done...If this helped only 1 person (I'm sure it has helped more just in knowing they are not alone in whatever abuse they have been through or are going through...and may give them the same Courage you have shown...)  May the Rest of your Life be filled with Peace and Happiness"

"Takes a lot of balls to face your past and share it with the public.  You are a strong girl!!"

"What happened is disgusting.  I am so happy to see that those horrible people did not prevent you from growing into a beautiful strong and courageous woman and loving mother.  Thank you for sharing your story and giving hope and encouragement to other victims of abuse."

"I am happy you feel strong enough to now tell your story.  Your past has not prevented you from becoming a strong woman.  I remember some of the abuse by your grandfather and even when I had to call him to stand up for you I remember how intimated he made me feel.  So happy to see your strength!"

"There is freedom in the truth. If your story helps just one other person then truth has won once again.  Hold that in your heart and know that God understands and surly has a place for you."

"Wow, very courageous of this girl to share the name of her childhood molester...hope she inspires others.

"Thank you for sharing your story.  You are an inspiration!!"

"You are a very brave person.  Best of luck to you."

"Very brave person, indeed.  You should never feel ashamed - Thank you for sharing your story and being a strong person."

"Thank you for your contribution to bring awareness!"

"I think it is a wonderful thing that you are doing by speaking out about what has been done to you and I feel it is a very good thing that you are not hiding the facts about who did it.  It is time that the abuser stop being protected.  It is time that people know what they are really like."  

"I'm so happy for you, not happy that you went through that, but you are a blessing to all that know you.  You are one strong woman.  Keep telling your story we all need it, more for the ones going through it. God Bless You.  You might not think you are, you sure area hero to us.  Also you teaching us all what ever bad things that happened to any of us if we want a better life you got to work at it.  We don't have to be victim or a pawn of hurt and scared for life.  Thank you for who you became.  You could have had closed the doors and hid and not walked in love, after all you faced you still found love." 

" I read her story and was very impressed with her strength and courage to not let that those horrible people control her life. As far as her telling their names, too bad for them! They did something horrible to an innocent child, they deserved to be shamed in public." 

"That's great that you're taking this and turning it into something positive. I had heard rumors of this but had NO idea who the family was and the post was brought to my attention."

Healing

I saw this post and thought it would be a great one to share with everyone here.  It spoke so much to me. 
I know I felt damaged for a while from the abuse I had gone through, and that I was so different from the rest of the world because of it.  I was always quite and alone.  Once I finally moved out of the abusive household and in with the other half of my family who encouraged me to go out and make friends and have a life I was still different but I began healing and I got the help that I needed and now I no longer allow my past abuse to control my life.  Instead I want it to push me forward, to better myself emotionally, mentally, and socially.  I want to help other people overcome their bad past, I might not have a perfect life but I'm determined to keep trying to better my life.  My past is always behind me, reminding me of what I had gone through during my childhood and I use it to make sure my children have it better. 

Healing is a process.  It takes time, and it takes support.  I'm lucky I had and still have such wonderful support, for now I don't live in constant fear or submission.