"Not asking for it!" ... No means NO!

I saw this image first on facebook and I had to share it, then find the STFU blog where it was published and check it out there, but I had to share it on here.


 Now the story behind this is that on the blog someone made a comment and I quote, "... its kind of like putting a meat suit on and telling a shark not to eat you"
I love how STFU replies to this guy (or I assume it's a guy) and I'm stealing their quote again "
"We (men) are not fucking sharks!
We are not rabid animals living off of pure instinct
We are capable of rational thinking and understanding. 
Just because someone is cooking food doesn’t mean you’re entitled to eat it. 
Just because a banker is counting money doesn’t mean you’re being given free money.
Just because a person is naked doesn’t mean you’re entitled to fuck them. 
You are not entitled to someone else’s body just because it’s exposed. 
What is so fucking difficult about this concept?"

This photo and story has been shared on facebook over 10,000 times!  I love that people are getting the word out there that no matter what a person looks like or what they are wearing that they aren't "asking for it."  It doesn't matter weather they are a hooker or a librarian if they say "no" it means NO.  I love how stfu worded their reply telling everyone that it's just like everything else in life, you're not entitled to it even if it's right in front of you.

I've always lived wearing what I want to wear, I love the human body and think it's beautiful so why not show it off?  I think it's completely natural to want to be naked and to be naked because that's how we were put on the Earth and how we're born.  We began to cover ourselves for protection against natural elements like the sun, bugs, the cold, not so that we're conseled from other people taking what they want from our bodies. 

I know people who think you should dress very modestly because if you don't then you're "asking for it" or as some others say your bringing out temtation in men.  I'm sorry but this is not true!  I know I've been there.  Yes when you have on less clothing it's easier for men to want you and find you attractive but a man should be able to controll his wants, and as stfu said "We are not rabid animals living off of pure instinct"  Yes when I wear less clothing I'm wearing it because I think my body looks great and that it's beautiful, the way God (or whoever/whatever you want to believe in) created me, and that it's fine for other people to look and like "the view" but it's not saying "I want to have sex with everyone" or giving anyone permission to touch me.  As for the part that dressing modestly will save you from rape, or others will be too tempted, like I said I've been there and it's not true.  In almost all cases rape, and sexual assault isn't about sex it's about power over another person.  I've lived in a house where I was forced to undress and be touched against my will until I was almost 17.  It didn't matter weather it was the dead of winter when I dressed warm or if it was summer and I had on a 2 piece bathing suit, it didn't stop him from touching me or having me undress.  I disagree with anyone who says that less clothing is more provoking...or that your asking for it.  No matter how much you cover up you can still be a victem.

No one "asks" for harm to come to them.  It doesn't matter how they are dressed.  I think that people should have self control!!  Men may find a woman attractive but it does not mean they have the right to touch them in any way. 

When I look back...

I saw this on a facebook post and had to share it with you.  I know from personal experience when you're living in an abusive house that if feels like things will never get better and that the future is so far away, but know that one day you will be out and living better and will look back and this will be you.

Please if you are in an abusive home or need help seek it, it's out there, talk to your guidance councler in school, a close friend, or Victims' Intervention Program or any other service that there is in your area.

This quote means so much to mean because I can now do it.  I've lived my hell being abused my my biological father, and grandparents on that side.  I managed to move out and go out with my life, and even my hard days now are nothing compared to my past.  I may not be exactly where I want to be in life but I know that I'm safe and that no one will touch me in a way I don't want to be touched today, or tomorrow, or any other day, at least not in my home.  When I was in school I never thought I'd see that day.  I was terrified about telling someone about my abuse and being believed, and to be honest it was a very hard thing to do.  I finally did get out of that home, and while part of me was broken and damaged the part that has flash backs and gets depressed every once in a while over the thoughts of the past, I have become stronger and managed to rise up and say this is my story and this is what happened.  I have found people who don't drag you down and who love and support you and raise you up, for me those people are my loving husband (never thought I'd have one of them), my family who took me in after I told them what happened and made me feel safe and took care of me, my friends who didn't turn their backs on me and told me that everything would be OK, my counclers who listened to me and helped me in every way they could, and all the people who are just there not saying anything but always there as a rock for me.

I will tell you that my life right now isn't a fairy tale happily ever after, but in some ways it is to me.  Right now I'm not making the amount of money my family needs, we are renting and we wish that we owned a home, let's just say that there's a lot that we could change to the better still but I still feel like Cinderella after she puts on the shoe and goes on to live her happily ever after with Prince Charming.  I get to smile every day that I overcame the my past and I know that I will get to go on and keep bettering my life and think everyday that at least I'm not going through what I had gone through all through my school years.  I can't believe how great my life is sometimes compared to how shitty it had once been. 

I really hope that you all read this quote in the image and think the same thing that you can smile at how far you've come and how you've overcome the people in your past who have tried to bring you down.